Top 10 jokes from the Edinburgh festival...

1) Dan Antopolski - "Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?"

2) Paddy Lennox - "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."

3) Sarah Millican - "I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're up where they belong."

4) Zoe Lyons - "I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West."

5) Jack Whitehall - "I'm sure wherever my dad is; he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."

6) Adam Hills - "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."

7) Marcus Brigstocke - "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"

8) Rhod Gilbert - "A spa hotel? It's like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a picture of a pebble."

9) Dan Antopolski - "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."

10) Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) - "I started so many fights at my school - I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them."

Jimmy Bullard is hilarious. Some of the stuff that Soccer AM have shown over the years is brilliant. The bit with duncan Ferguson amuses me now.

Lol that's brilliant Eakesy.

There isn't a football league thread and this actually goes well in this thread because I LOL'ed ALOT!

HAHAHA Link

This is the best bit:

Mr Sextone told the BBC: "The final straw was when he [planning chairman Bob Cook] said 'of course I've never watched a football game but my friends tell me Bristol City have no chance of making the Premier League and they certainly don't need a stadium above 15,000 seats'.

I would be willing to bet that any Gashead fans would not vote against Bristol City, as they realise how important football is. The ones you want to worry about are the ones who have no interest in football as they don't understand the importance of the football club.

I know from bitter personal experience with Brighton taking over 10 years to get their stadium there will be a lot of stumbling blocks along the way but hopefully for City some more victories as well. The key is to keep the momentum going and never assume it is a done deal. There will be plenty of hurdles to overcome in the future and City will need all their fans to passionately back it and support all applications in the way Brighton fans did.

that was not a bristol councilor its somerset!

Mark, Bristol is the only City which is important in North Somerset, or even Gloucester, so Bristol/Somerset Councillors are one and the same, i.e. stupid.

Eakes, reasonable points about people without a clue about football, such as Flynn, being the ones not to back the new stadium, but gasheads will also be jealous and won't want good things for City.

The stadium should always be considered as a regional project, not just a project to benefit City. Mr Cook/Cock's opinions are clearly lacking any objective.

Flynn, City have a good chance of making the prem, just hasn't gone so well in play-offs over the years. We'll get there eventually. City have more chance of getting in the prem than liverpool have of finishing in the top 6 six this season. We could do with a slightly bigger stadium for the championship, but as I've said, the 30k+ capacity is all about other events too and the benefit they'll bring to our economy. You may have read that it won't normally have seating arranged for the full capacity - the extra seats are there for the world cup matches and events; we wouldn't want a load of empty seats for each City home game.

Ben, thanks for stating the obvious.

the fact is North Somerset Council matter because the ground they plan to use over laps bounderies!

I am a Gashead and would love to have Prem footy in the city, About time. I just hope its not played in front of city fans...the gound will be good for all the above reasons.

Chill out a bit !

Bristol needs to say yes to the ground and N.Somerset have to decide on a road access?!?!??!

City could always turn the staduim around!!? for access (lol)

The problem lies with the fact they (the councillors) do not understand football.

Looks like Kirby is going to have a good Christmas after all!

Link